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Diary of a Veggie Sausage ep.1

Updated: May 13


A comedy diary


January

Monday

Hello, just to make things clear I am a veggie sausage not a pork sausage, so don’t go on thinking that I am made for meat eaters! We are at war there are mashed potato bomb shelters and ketchup guns lying everywhere, rock cake pillboxes bought from cake land and baked bean armour shattered everywhere. We are rationed to 1 piece of chive and one bottle of veggie stock powder soaked in ketchup each day, the whole town is in chaos! My name is Mart.


Tuesday

Today a pork sausage came into our town!! The weird thing was, he had his ends up*“Wait don’t shoot.” he said,” I got thrown out of the army last year and need to find somewhere to live” After a long discussion our villagers were OK with it ,but they said he would be guarded and had to live next to my house!!! “OK.” he said. Great. Now I will be living next to a pork sausage for the rest of my life.


Wednesday

Today is the worst day of my life! The pork sausage came into my house and asked for 20 baked bean bucks! I didn’t want to make him angry at me so I handed it over but I felt completely angry inside oh when will this guy move away.

*hands up



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